Simon’s Brain outs himself in his own comments section:

I feel now is the time I came out. I’ve been away from England for over 4 years and the truth is the place has become alien to me.

From now on I’d like to be referred to as a ‘transatlantic’. Like Jude Law only more attractive.

Us transatlantics are not entirely dissimilar to transsexuals in that we can swing either way depending on how the mood takes us. If I can’t be bothered to put a ‘u’ in the word color then I am an American. If I want to be treated with a modicum of respect in a foreign country then I am an Englishman. I think it works well and I’m sure you’ll forgive me.

I am a paid up member of the color/theater club and I often plump for one “l” instead of two in verbs. However in emails to friends and relatives in the UK, I try to refer to mobile phones instead of cell phones and neighbours instead of neighbors. I am still baffled by the fact that my slight northern English accent makes me appear simple in England and refined in America.

But with each passing day I slip further towards the dark side. ATMs have overtaken cash machines. I occasionally have to correct myself in front of British visitors. And there have been complaints that my voice rises at the end of sentences. Is my fate as a transatlantic sealed?