Coming Through!

A friend visiting from London recently asked whether I preferred the Subway or the Tube. I did not have to think for very long to reply. Yes, Subway stations are dirty, draughty and, in summer, deeply unpleasant. But I would take the New York Subway over the Tube every day for the simple reason that its trains are ten times the size of the Tube’s, are air conditioned and, despite the occasional delay, generally adhere to a schedule.

I still have nightmares about morning rush hour in London when I would have to wait for three trains to come through Bermondsey station before I could squeeze into the fourth. Nowadays, whenever I visit London I find myself standing on a platform for ten or fifteen minutes waiting for a train (usually the District Line) which, halfway through its journey, inexplicably changes destination, requiring half the passengers to disembark and wait another ten or fifteen minutes for the next train. I am also exceedingly grateful that for $2 I can go anywhere I want in the city at any time of day and even transfer to a bus for free.

But that’s not to say that the Subway is without its faults or its eccentricities, as A Brit Out of Water recently discovered when a commuter trapped on the wrong side of a crowded platform found an unorthodox way of ensuring he would not miss his train.

First he put his arms in the air and clasped his hands together. An unusual move in rush hour, I think you’ll appreciate, and one that didn’t go unnoticed by fellow travellers. Then swiftly he brought down his still clasped arms/hands at 90 degrees to the rest of his body, taking a pose last seen on the starting blocks for the 50 metresmeters men’s freestyle final at the Olympic swimming pool in Beijing. Having got everybody’s attention, he simply jet propelled himself through the crowd to the door of the train, using his arms to part the Red Sea of people ahead of him.

So far, so rude. Or at least, it would have been had he not been shouting at the top of his voice as he did it, “Ladies and gentlemen, I am trying to get on this train, thank you very much.”

Rudeness with a smile on its face (A Brit Out of Water)