I normally wouldn’t post a personal gripe on a conservative blog, but since my friend and site proprietor, PD Berger (as Paul now prefers to be addressed), has written his share of intimate confessions here, I figured he wouldn’t mind if I do the same.

After nearly five years in a steady, meaningful relationship, I recently found myself thrust back into the singles scene. As a Jew in New York City, it was my religious duty to blow the dust off my suspended JDate account and start meeting women again.

As a cartoonist, I figure I should use humor as my weapon of choice in capturing the attention of prospective dates. For some reason, this approach is not working. Below is an excerpt from my latest blog entry, “Into the Void“:

My sorrowfully ineffective method has been to start with a humorous reference to their profile, to show I was actually paying attention. For your enjoyment, I’ve compiled a select list of actual clips from letters I’ve sent to other JDate members. Invariably, I get no response.

Tell me, would you write back?

To the psychologist:
Can I book an hour of couch time?

To the entrepreneur who quit law school and her job on Wall St. to start a cookie company:
Subject: I did it all for the cookie
Message: Wall Street, law school, now cookies. You’re in it for the DOUGH!

To the “Vice President with Looks”
I typically only date Presidents but I would be willing to lower the bar and make an exception here.

To the girl who, well … I can understand why she didn’t write back:
If we went on a date I think I could overcome the fact that you bear an uncanny resemblance to my sister.

You can read the rest here.