A Joke from Wellsy

FRENCH RAISE ALERT LEVELS…

Following the events in London the French government announced
yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from ‘Run’ to
‘Hide’. The only two higher levels in France are ‘Surrender’ and
‘Collaborate’. The rise was precipitated by a recent fire which
destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing their
military.

Updates from around Europe

The Italians have increased their alert level from “shouting excitedly”
to “elaborate military posturing”. Two more levels remain, “ineffective
combat operations” and “change sides”.

The Germans have also increased their alert state from “disdainful
arrogance” to “full dress-uniform and marching songs”. They have two
higher levels, “invade a neighbour” and “lose”.

Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from
“isolationism” to “find somewhere ripe for regime change”. Their
remaining higher alert states are “take on the world” and “ask the
British for help”.

Finally here in GB we’ve gone from “pretend nothing’s happening” to
“make another cup of tea”. Our higher levels are “chin-up and remain
cheerful” and “win”.

UPDATE: I was reticent to post this joke in case it was somehow deemed to be in bad taste. I finally decided that since it alludes to real events firmly in Europe’s past, and since it was obviously written in good faith and with good humor, it would not offend.

I wish the same could be said for the following—a post on The Gutter which refers to the people being helped by my good friends at Architecture for Humanity as “crack hos”.