Me: Is this the buildings department?
311: Yes.
Me: There is a tree in an abandoned building behind our apartment and it looks like it is about to fall over.

311: A crate?
Me: A tree.
311: You say there’s a crate about to fall over?
Me: No, a tree? T-R-E-E.
311: A crane?
Me: No, a TREE. A big thing with leaves and branches.
311: Oh, a tree.
Me: Yes!
311: Is it a city tree?
Me: No, it’s in the backyard of a derelict building.

The 311 operator pauses and then begins to read from her screen.

311: If the tree is not a city tree and branches need to be removed, residents should call a landscaping company…
Me: No, you don’t understand. The tree is not on my property. It’s on a neighbor’s property.
311: Oh.
Me: The building has been boarded up so I assume the city already knows about it.
311: Hm.
Me: And it looks like the tree could fall over any minute.
311: …
Me: I think someone needs to come out as soon as possible.
311: …

Me: There are lots of kids who play down there.
311: Kids?
Me: Yes, it’s very popular with children. Both in our garden and our neighbor’s garden.
311: The tree is in your neighbor’s garden?
Me: The tree is in the garden of a derelict house behind our building. But the tree could fall in our garden or our neighbors’ next door.
311: Oh, well, we might be able to do something…

The 311 operator takes the tree’s details.

311: Your request has been logged and will be processed in the next five days.
Me: Don’t you think that, considering the tree could fall at any time, you ought to send someone sooner than five days?
311: Oh, they will.
Me: But you just told me five days.
311: Yes, but they will get this message today and when they see what I have said about the kids playing outside I am sure they will come out straight away.

That was a few hours ago. I am not holding my breath.

In March, 2005, the New York Times Magazine ran a lengthy piece about billionaire Tim Blixseth’s plans to create the world’s most exclusive international resort, Yellowstone Club World.

Headlined Club Med for Multimillionaires, the article detailed how Blixseth had gone on a shopping spree for extravagant properties: a private golf club in Scotland, a 14th-century chateau near Paris, a stretch of Pacific coastline in Mexico.

Blixseth financed this dream by borrowing heavily against his biggest asset, the Yellowstone Club, a private ski resort, in Montana, that counts Bill Gates among its 300-or-so ultra affluent members.

Yesterday, the Times business section ran an exhaustive piece detailing how his plan unraveled, leaving Blixseth’s former wife, Edra, with a bill for hundreds of millions of dollars and bankrupting the club.

It’s a fascinating piece, not least because of the light it shines on one of the world’s most exclusive resorts, not to mention the Blixseth’s messy relationship:

Mr. Blixseth declined repeated interview requests. But in documents filed in the Montana bankruptcy court last Thursday, he describes Ms. Blixseth as someone who “spent millions like money grew on trees” and accuses her of being involved in “a pattern of untruthfulness and dishonest tactics.”

Among examples of profligate spending Mr. Blixseth cites in the filing is a $90,000 party that Ms. Blixseth had at Porcupine Creek for more than 100 guests. Guests were invited to whack piñatas shaped like Mr. Blixseth and which contained chocolate coins wrapped in gold foil. Voodoo dolls resembling Mr. Blixseth — complete with stickpins — were also on display. (Ms. Blixseth acknowledges that the party did indeed occur.)

The Yellowstone Club, valued at $400 million a year or so ago, was sold recently for $115 million.

According to the letters page of the UAE’s The National, Scrabble tournaments in the Gulf have become a little too competitive of late:

To clarify the rules of the Gulf Scrabble Tournament referred to in the editorial Strong Words (June 7), following last year’s tile picking controversy, this year the Gulf tournament organisers were very stringent on how tiles were drawn before each turn.

The tile bag should be held at eye level, the player’s head turned away, tiles drawn preferably one by one (no counting tiles while the hand is in the bag), and placed face down on the table.

Another interesting rule that was reiterated was the “hold” rule, where a player can ask an opponent to wait before drawing new tiles after his turn to prevent unscrupulous players from “fast bagging” – ie, playing a phoney word (often deliberately), then drawing tiles (which validates the move) without giving their opponent a chance to assess the move and challenge the legitimacy of the word.

As one former Gulf player remarked following last year’s controversy: “Scrabble has lost its innocence.”

Competitors may want to keep an eye on their Gulf Team opponents at the World Scrabble Championships in Malaysia, this fall.

I’m not sure whether this new music video from Kid British makes me feel homesick or very glad to be on the other side of the Atlantic. Maybe a mixture of the two. (Via @ruthhannahl.)

Photo: Iwan Baan, 2009, Courtesy of Friends of the High Line.

This weekend, I took my first bike ride up the Westside Greenway. Though it was incredible seeing so much of Manhattan’s waterfront in such a short space of time, I think the most fun part was the return journey when we cut through the city — Times Square, Midtown, Chinatown — and back over the Manhattan Bridge. New York seems like a much more pedestrian/cycle friendly city than it was when I arrived five years ago. I’m particularly looking forward to the next trip so that I can explore New York’s newest park, the High Line, pictured above.